People don’t know how to know if they are fit for marriage and how to determine who is fit for you. We often don’t know what questions to ask our dates. Meanwhile, the seriousness of answer you get is based on the seriousness of the question you ask. As believers, we are encouraged to examine ourselves, Ha. 1: 7; 2Cor. 13: 5. We are also to examine others who come to relate with us, 1Jn. 4: 1. This is important in the area of marriage. Marriage is not necessarily about your partner being good or bad. Everyone is good and bad. It is more about the person being right or wrong for you. You know yourself thoroughly to know who fits you. These questions should help...
1. Are you born again? This deals with who is in charge of your life.
2. How committed are you to God (perhaps by being committed to a church)?
3. What behaviours of yours can make a marital life difficult?
4. What are your reasons for getting married?
5. Do they agree with the ultimate, God given reasons for marriage? What are they?
6. What are your reasons for marrying any prospective person?
7. Have you agreed with anyone to get married?
8. Do you believe in the will of God particularly in marriage? How do you believe it?
9. How do you know the person you are interest in is the will for God for you?
10. Do you think you are ready for marriage? Why seek a partner when you are not ready?
11. How do you know you are ready for marriage: growth, physical and otherwise, etc.?
12. How do you understand marriage? Describe your ideal marriage fully.
13. How do you understand love?
14. How do you understand sex? What are your expectations in the area of sex?
15. What are your needs and expectations of your spouse? Are your expectations realistic?
16. How much do you know your weaknesses and strengths? What are they?
17. How much are you knowledgeable of the following?
a) Your destiny: your divine assignment of earth.
b) Your financial strength and orientation.
c) Your physical status: genotype, HIV, STDs, other infection, womb condition, etc.
d) Your sexual health and status: impotence, virginity, etc.
e) Your temperament and social disposition.
f) Your character dispositions.
18. Are you in any intimate relationship presently?
19. Does it have a clear purpose known to all parties involved? If not why not?
20. Have you had any previous intimate relationships: courtship, engagement, marriage, etc.?
21. How were they resolved?
22. Do you have any premarital child (ren)?
23. What is your response to childlessness or delayed childbearing in marriage?
24. What is your attitude to divorce? What about polygamy?
25. What is the nature of your parents influence on you?
26. How hard will it be to obtain parental consent for anyone you may want to marry?
27. What is your marriage plans all things being equal? Time, finances, etc.
28. What is your attitude towards marrying those called “osu”? What does “osu” mean?
29. Are there secrets you are afraid that if anyone knows them, they may not want to marry you?
30. How willing are you to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work?
31. What other issues are relevant in determining your readiness for marriage?
32. Are you willing to grow in knowledge of the demands of a blissful marriage?
33. What plans of growth in knowledge do you have? Books, seminar, counseling?
34. Are you willing to go through godly counseling in making your decision for marriage?
35. Are you submitted to any mentor in your life?
a) What areas are you submitted to this person?
b) Give an instance of your submission to this mentor.
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